Hello Spring

Hello you! 

As may or may not know already, I gave up all social media for forty days. Well not all social media, but my biggest demons - Instagram, Facebook (I love marketplace what can I say, scroll, scroll, scroll), Twitter, and Tik Tok. I learned quite a lot in my time away, and wished I accomplished more. Regardless, here we are and here is what I have to take away from my experience. 

Now, let me be clear, I found other ways to scroll. The weirdest thing about giving up social media is the loss of sensory feedback. You will continuously reach, open, and try to scroll. I was scrolling down my email half the time (which, highly recommend signing up for newsletters if you don’t already). My fingers were habitualized to the motion. I craved it and did my best to suppress it.  

Not only did it point to the content I was seeking, which for the most part was positive. It also revealed to me where I most liked to scroll. In the elevator (only when I was alone), in the bathroom (I know, but), and in between moments where I did not want to sit in the discomfort of boredom. 

I eventually came to fill my time with other longform media - watching YouTube clips, movies, and television. I listened to podcasts here and there.. tried to pick up more books. I did read quite a few poems. Music was still allowed so I had been indulging in Benson Boone and Role Model. (I won’t lie - I have been enjoying the fan edits now that I am back on Tik Tok). Yoga and Art took precedence within my life. I did not mind the rainy and cold Spring we had while tucked away in a hot yoga class or making art inside my cozy apartment. 

Still, I missed having a front row seat to my friends' lives. I missed hearing poetry read by my favorite authors. Artists’ works I wished to see. Memes I wished to laugh at and inside jokes I longed to be a part of. And of course, outfits and art I wanted to share. I realized my consumption was not out of balance with my desire to create. And here I am to share. 

Keep your eye out for the mail, because I completed a set of watercolor postcards that I plan to send out very soon.

My love for my friends continues, as I felt inspired to create bookmarks for a bookclub I hope to host in the near future. (Ya know, if we can find a date!) All but one are original designs, but I have to admit that arguably the cutest one is a replication of something I found on Pinterest. I’ll let you take a guess.

It may be wise to stop here, pretend my time offline was filled with nothing but frolics through the park where I read poetry and painted flowers. But of course, there is the reality of the world around us that I must face, and therefore, so must you. 

One of the things that I enjoyed most from my social media break was my distance from political discourse. Although I think it is important to stay informed, I think constantly feeling hopeless while scrolling past atrocities on your phone is horrible for anyone's mental health. Which is an incredibly privileged take and I am aware of the advantages I find myself in where I have the opportunity to scroll past the horrors. 

 It was interesting to see people become concerned about issues I had vocalized months ago. Two friends of mine informed me of the ICE raids happening all over the city. Specifically, the Tuft’s student who was grabbed off the street in broad daylight. They both looked at me with utter confusion when I kept my composure as they relayed the story. This was not news to me. I had no doubt that the United State’s authoritarian rule would lead to these circumstances. Fear, hatred, and propaganda was all they needed. I was a devout historian in my youth, deeply moved by the atrocities that occured during World War II. It was clear to me the direction we were headed, and now not only was it on our soil, but it was in my state, miles from where I reside. Miles from where I am posting this very blog, addressing issues that have gotten other people abducted. 

My friend and I had many political conversations before this point, all in which he acknowledged that bad things have been happening around the world forever and that these issues did not directly impact us. I remember when I told him I was scared to sport a keffiyeh and he laughed and said that I was “virtue signaling.” When the raids began, his mentality shifted. He began to see clearer and conceded that problems around the world were in fact connected to the issues rising here. He understood my fear for the first time. 

Even sharing this feels as though I am exposing myself. But, I feel confronting the political agenda is a core duty for any artist. It is our personal responsibility to capture history as it is happening. If we do not paint it, they will rewrite it. 

For me, it is deeply intertwined with my values of truth, peace, and love. I believe everyone has the right to their truth being shared, their peace being respected, and love to fill their lives. I believe we are all deeply connected and harm done to one of us is harm done to all of us. 

Although I have more to say, and hope for the courage to confess it all at some point, I leave you with this. Made of simple materials, but one of my proudest pieces: 

"We are not free, until we are all free"

alcohol markers

on mixed media paper

nine by twelve inches

Your voice matters. 

In a place where it is so easy to feel hopeless, the only thing you need to do is remember your power. Everyday you can make a choice to show up with love, peace, and truth in your heart. When you show up as your most authentic self aligned with these values, 

your light will illuminate the way for others. 

Alas, because I can not bear to leave you with a heavy heart, I will leave you with this. At the beginning of April, my roommate brought home an amaryllis bulb. I had never seen one before, and watched it patiently as it grew a little more each day. When it bloomed, I was overjoyed. It was one of the prettiest flowers I had ever seen. To our surprise, it had a second bloom, then a third, and a fourth and a fifth. My roommate had purchased many in the past and she said she had never seen one produce so many flowers. So remember, you have no idea what may come next, but who knows, it may just be a full bloom. 

And of course, who would I be if I did not paint the beauty I see.

"Endless Bloom"

watercolor paint

on mixed media paper

twelve by nine inches

Thank you for putting up with my words. If you made it this far, I really appreciate you taking the time to sit with the words I have written. I hope they leave you with a sense of peace and hope. 

XOXO

Brooke